2. Are you skinny? (Compared to your height)
Yes
No

3. Are you spontaneous?
yes..wait no.. er, yes.. err.. definitely
No

4. Are you *extremely* faithful?
Yes, I would *never* cheat on my man!
faithful? is that a music band?

5. Must have something to occupy yourself with at any given time. Especially if I go on 1-3 month (work-related) trips.
True
False

6. Intelligent (doesn't have to be the smartest girl in the world, but can't be as dumb as a brick :)
True
like, umm, like, like..

7. Must have a good personality.
True
False

8. Energetic.
Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No

9. Cheerful, not depressed all the time.
True
False

10. Decent morals - knows right from wrong.
True
False

11. Are you a stereotypical "goodie-two-shoes"?
Yes
No, I only have one shoe :)

12. Are you malicious or extremely aggressive about everything?
Yes, I torture my parents and friends regularly
No, I fly with the butterflies and fairies with my pixie dust

13. Been depressed 24/7 or have a tendacy to feel depressed?
Yes
No

14. Able to enjoy silence without either person feeling awkward
..................
No

15. Chatty/Talkative, etc.
yesyesyesyesyes
No

16. Must have self control.
Yes
No

17. Should be very open about any and every thing.
True
False

18. Should have a moderate party attitude, no extreme in either way.
True
False

19. Is the only type of movie you like a "chick-flick" movie or do you have a varied movie taste?
I like pretty much anything!
I only like chick flicks!

20. Are you a snob?
Yep, my license plate reads, "Daddy's Little Girl"
No way!

21. Having an objective opinion about someone else isn't considered "thinking you are better than anyone" - However, you should only act that way around me (and your friends, of course). Do you act this way around everyone?
Naw
Like, Totally!

22. Have a very maternal instinct.
True
False

23. Would want 1 - 3 kids, depending on how busy both of our lifestyles are.
True
False

24. Wouldn't mind packing a couple bags and traveling somewhere exotic (perhaps hiking in the Andes for a week or mountain biking around Colorado) - providing both of our schedules were free.
I don't know, that sounds like too much fun..
Definitely

25. Would be able to cook practically anything (from something pre-made in a box to something from scratch)
Yes
No

26. Enjoys cooking, rather than thinking of it as a chore. Most likely we would go out to eat quite often, but the few times you would cook, it wouldn't be looked upon as a servant-to-master (cook my food bitch) situation.
True
False

27. Enjoys bowling and shooting pool- doesn't have to be good at it.
Is that kinda like hockey or something?
Yeah, I don't mind it one bit

28. Enjoy laying out looking at the stars on a beautiful night (and possibly telling me about them? hmm)
wait, we have stars?
Definitely

29. Must have a cute/bearable laugh.
True
False

30. Must have a very cute grin and smile.
True
False

31. Must have an adorable face!
True
i'm hideous, look away!

32. Must shave - every where.
Yep!
I believe shaving infringes on my body's right to be free

33. Would like very fine, thin, straight hair. (choose the answer which is closest :)
yes, I have silky smooth hair!
i have no hair

34. Must be computer literate - not scared of using one or unsure of how to turn it on!
yes, i'm here doing this superduperincredibly long quiz, aren't i?!?
i don't know what a computer is

35. Must be straight-forward about pretty much anything
Yes, and by the way, your breath smells
whatever you say goes, my dear

36. If I have something in my teeth, I would expect you to let me know about it.
yeah, it's getting annoying too, get piece of cauliflower out of your teeth now!
but i think having something stuck in your teeth makes you look sexy!

37. If I smelled (bad) then you would tell me instead of letting me think I didn't.
you stink you dirty rotten bastard!
it's okay, i like funky smells

38. If I was being too obtrusive, you would let me know.
True
False

39. If you were tired and wanted to go to bed instead of doing something, you'd say so instead of "putting up with it"
I would say something
I wouldn't say anything

40. If you noticed something I didn't, and it might offend me, you would subtly hint it to me at first, perhaps, but if overall I didn't take the hint, you would come out and tell me.
Sure
Nope, I wouldn't say a thing!

41. Must be able to appreciate (or at least listen to) all types of music.
True
wait, is music a sport or is it something you eat?

42. Must be creative/original about a lot of things you believe in strongly.
True
aw heck! but I love stealing other people's ideas!

43. Must be outgoing (with at the very least, me!)
watcha doing tonight?
nope

44. Must enjoy your job. Doesn't necessarily have to make lots of money, but you should be happy where you work.
True
False

45. Can't have a child before we start dating. way, way too complicated.
i don't have a child
but i thought my three children would be an extra turnon!

46. Should be a patient; good teacher at what you know.
yes, i'm very patient
no, damnit, get it right the first time or i'll kick your ass!

47. Should know how to dance, in many forms, and be able to teach me. If not, would be willing to go learn with me :)
yeah, I'd like to learn or I know how to
dancing is for pansies, grow up!

48. Must have a very good hygiene (teeth, skin, hair, etc).
yep, I even have pearly whites!
isn't showering once a week enough, damnit?

49. Must have a good taste in matching clothes.
yep
wait, purple and yellow aren't in anymore?

50. Shouldn't need to wear a bunch of makeup at any time (some makeup is definitely alright)
True
I'm a firm believer in half a pound of makeup on my face at any given moment

51. Should be understanding if I'm going through a hard time (about anything), and vice versa I would act the same.
True
False

52. Should have some version of "faith" (ie. believe in something other than yourself.. ie. God.. or heck, does science count? ;o)
True
False

53. Shouldn't worship satan or perform witchcraft.
I don't
I'll put a spell on you!

54. Must have ANY form of religion in their background and somewhat present in your lifestyle.
True
False

55. Should want to go to church on the important dates (Easter, Christmas, etc.) at the very minimum.
True
False

56. Your parents shouldn't control your life, or put enough of an impact/strain that would disrupt our current arrangement.
they don't
sorry, I still ask my parents if I can go to the bathroom

57. Should have had decent parental guidance as a child; no molestation, abuse, extreme delinquency, or prostitution.
My parents are alright (even when they are jerks)
My parents are downright awful human beings

58. Would enjoy a nice ocean walk/run and not be bored or want to be somewhere else.
sure
ugh, how boring!

59. Can laugh/giggle/etc at funny commercials!
yeah, did you see one last week when...
h-a (pause one second) h-a, um, riiight..

60. When having an argument, you would never get to the point where physical contact would occur or mentioning things "below the belt" :)
True
False, I like to beat my man senseless!

61. Would have a decent diet (a healthy one!).
True
wait, skittles and m&m's washed down with some coke isn't healthy?

62. Could appreciate reading a book (fiction or non-fiction) (if you had free time).
reading is for losers!
I enjoy reading stuff that interests me

63. Wouldn't be an alcoholic, but wouldn't mind drinking with me occasionally.
Sorry, I'm a prude
True

64. Wouldn't have past (heavy) drug use, or ongoing usage.
True
False, I have to go score another load tonight!

65. Must know how to do laundry. :)
True, I even sort them out!
isn't that like, hazardous to my health or something?

66. If you don't know how to play any sports, you must be willing to learn.
I know how to play at least one sport or I want you to teach me
Sorry, I'm not that type of girl

67. You should be able to tolerate watching sports (on tv).
True
False

68. You should have self-confidence but not over-confidence; you should carry yourself as an individual rather than being part of the crowd.
True
but it is so easy to blend in, damnit!

69. Must have extensive lingerie selection, or want to wear some if I buy some for you ;)
*struts your stuff*
my body is not going to be used for that!

70. Doesn't smoke (all the time)
smoking? ewwww.
I'm a firm believer in supporting those billion-dollar smoking companies

71. Doesn't get upset easily.
*smash* *smash* arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hah! try to upset me, big boy!

72. Are you a slut?
Nope
isn't it like money? the more guys, the better, right?

73. Doesn't have a history of being a slut.
I kinda sorta maybe have one
I don't

74. Must be able to drink on occasion.
True
False

75. Must have attractive skin tone.
True
is purple and blue skin alright?

76. Clearly defined cheekbones (choose the best which applies to you :)
Yes
i don't have a head, it isn't my fault!

77. You can't be passive or submissive (all the time).
i'm flexible (no pun intended :)
i'm submissive all the time and i can't help it!

78. Sympathetic?
Oh Yeah.
Hell no! Bleed to death for all I care!

79. Must have all teeth!
True
False

80. Do you have buck teeth?
Yes
No

81. Teeth cleaned regularly.
Yes
no, I believe in natural selection

82. No discoloration on the teeth.
True
False

83. Body must be symmetric.
True
False

84. Are you "loose"?
as a goose :)
nope, i'm tight and just right :)

85. Are you "smelly"?
no way man!
yes, that isn't "in" anymore?

86. No chest or nipple hair.
True
False, I have lots of it!

87. No back hair.
True
False

88. Has zero (no) tattoos.
True
False

89. Do you have a mustache or other facial hair?
Yes, lots of it!
Nope, I'm good to go

90. Do you have a uni-brow?
Nope
Yes!

91. Piercings in odd places?
yeah, wanna see?
nope, i'm straight as an arrow

92. Stomach bigger than the chest?
yes, don't you just love what I've done with myself?
nope, well, unless I just ate..

93. The stomach has to be flat (best applicable :)
True
but I'm pregnant!

94. Do you have varicose veins or "spider web" veins?
Yes
No

95. Doesn't bench more than me.
True
I can bench over 300 pounds and I'm proud of it!

96. No (or little) cellulite anywhere.
True, I'm one fit mother ....
False

97. Athletic - should care enough about your body to want to look good (firstly) for yourself, and (secondly) for me.
True
False

98. Have you ever been in a "cat" fight?
Not really, I'm not that way
hell yeah! lemme at em'!

99. Have you ever given anyone the silent treatment?
nope
yeah

100. Do you wear fake nails?
no
yes

101. Have you ever turned someone down who asked you for a date?
yes, they were butt ugly
no, i was just being nice to a couple of guys though

102. How many people have you had sex with? (including flings, relationships, and one nighters)
under 5
i lost count by now.. but it was definitely more than 5

103. Have you ever gotten pregnant intentionally, just to lure someone into a lasting relationship?
yes, but only because i knew what was best for him!
no

104. Have you ever had sex with more than one person in the same day?
yes, but only because i was drunk!
nope

105. Have you ever had any sexually transmitted diseases?
yes, but if i hold my breath they go away!
nope, i'm clean as a whistle (hmm, are whistles even clean anymore?)

106. Have you ever thought about marrying for money or intend to do so?
why work when my man can?
nope, i'm going to plan on being able to support myself

(now for scenario questions.. we will be adding new ones every so often :)

108. You meet a totally hot guy and after a few of the best hours of your life with him you know:
you're definitely in love with him
you want to get to know him better first before you make assumptions